Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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