note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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