You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
