I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
