It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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