Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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