I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
