He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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