dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
