so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i came on her dog
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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