She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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