I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
