Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
