dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
