butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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