Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
