return my video game
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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