I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
