I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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