thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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