return my video game
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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