ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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