...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
only if we run a train.
done.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
