The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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