There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
