if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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