People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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