eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
