What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
