I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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