FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
