i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The air was thick with penises
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
