idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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