I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
