I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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