she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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