oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
