I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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