kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
