i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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