I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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