How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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