so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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