Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
