You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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