Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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