Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Randomize
