I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
