Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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