That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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