sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
