now i know why i became what i already was.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
