Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
